The Enemy Within

The Naval Air Station here in Meridian hosts a Freedom Fest every Fourth of July. This year’s was hot but great.  Lots of bounce houses, live music, cheap beer, cheap food and free non-alcoholic beverages.  The fireworks were amazing.  They were close and huge.  They lit up the sky and to see them reflected in each of my sons’ eyes was just amazing.  We arrived early so my boys would have time to make the rounds of the all the festivities.  This year they added a zip line that was at least two stories off the ground.

My oldest son isn’t crazy about heights.  He also isn’t crazy about the fact that there is something out there that makes him uneasy.  To add salt to the wound, his younger brother doesn’t happen to share this uneasiness about heights.  He asked permission to do the zip line with his friend.  A little while later, he was back, eyes red and sour mood.  ”I couldn’t do it,” he said.  At first I thought maybe it was a height or weight thing, or maybe he was too young?  ”No, the guy said you had to hold onto the bars and not to let go or you could get hurt.  My hands were soooo sweaty I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on.”  I told him to have a seat, get something cool to drink and then go with his friend to do the other games.  When his friend returned, Kevin’s mood had gone from sour to unconsolable.  I told his friend to go on without him and maybe he’d catch up later.  After about 10 minutes, my reserve of patience was gone.

“Look, Kevin…LOOK around.  There’s a game station, a rock climbing wall, several bounce house mazes and lots of other things to do.  You’re missing it.  You made a decision not to do the zip line.  That is ok.  Don’t let it spoil your night because there is a lot of time left.  You can spend it sitting in a lawn chair or, you can spend it with your friends having fun.”  Ten minutes later after sitting in silence and taking in all the laughter, and music and feeling the high energy,  he did get up and rejoin his friend.

A few weeks later we took the family to a water park.  I let my  two older boys go stand in line for a water ride that shoots you down a big dark tube, spits you up a big wall, only to let you come back down backwards before coming to a stop.  A little while later there was Kevin, “Mom, you have to go with Ryan.  We can’t go together. We don’t weigh enough.  You have to weigh 140 lbs together and we don’t.”  I left Kevin, made my way up the line to find my middle son.  Ryan and I did the ride.  The whole time I was beaming with pride.  My older son had actually given up his spot willingly for his brother, no tears, no fights…nothing.  I AM A GREAT MOM!!!!  It was a mountain top moment for me.  But just like Moses, when I came down the mountain, I found my older son, eyes red and sour mood. “Now, I can’t go.”  I told Kevin we could go and get in line.  I would do the ride again.  ”No, it will take too long.  I don’t want to wait.  It’s not fair that Ryan got to do it.”  This time I didn’t have any patience in my reserves.

While this had nothing to do with heights, I couldn’t help but see a pattern.  ”Kevin, again YOU are making a decision not to do the ride.  We can go and do it.  If you don’t want to that is fine.  I am so proud of you.  You did a very nice and selfless thing by giving up your spot so I could go with Ryan first.  But, nothing is stopping you from doing the slide right now.  LOOK at all the people around us.  They are smiling and laughing and having fun.  We have a lot of time left here and just like the Freedom Fest, it would be a shame if you waste it because of one ride.  What would you like to do?”  ”Nothing,” was his reply.  So he followed me back to where my youngest was playing with my husband, upset and determined to keep his sour mood.

I thought about approaching him again.  I realized I wasn’t the one who had to do the work.  I just had to let nature take its course.  Then, just like the Freedom Fest, I watched as he fought a battle within.  Finally, he allowed all the water, smiles and laughter pull him out from his bad mood.  He enjoyed the rest of the night.  That is how Joy works.  Mother Teresa said, “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.”  The enemy of sour moods, disappointments and fears has no strength to stand up to joy. It was nice to see Joy do what Joy does best, WIN.  It is amazing to watch as Joy pulls someone off their own battlefield.  That is why Mother Teresa also said, “Joy is very infectious; therefore, be always full of joy.”

What Ember Are You?

Monseigneur Suns gave the homily at our mass the other day.  He used to be the pastor at our church and he commented on how many of the once small children he knew can now look him in the eye.  I could appreciate that as my  nine year old is now at my chin and I know all too soon, he will be looking at me eye to eye.

He told a story of a Rabbi.  The Rabbi had noticed that a member of their community had stopped coming to synagog.  He decided to visit this person at their home.  He knocks and is invited in.  He takes a seat in front of the fire that is burning in the fireplace and the man he is visiting sits in a chair next to him and offers the Rabbi a drink.  They sit in front of the fire without any words.  The Rabbi takes the poker from the hearth and pulls forward one red hot ember from the fire.  As it sits on the hearth it begins to cool and turns from bright red to black.  Neither say a word as they watch the lone ember.  Once the ember has cooled, the Rabbi reaches for the poker again and pushes the ember back into the fire.  Both men watch as it catches its glow again and burns a bright hot red.  The man looks at the Rabbi and says, “I will be in Synagog this week.”  The Rabbi gets up, pats him on the shoulder and leaves the man’s home.

This isn’t a new response to God.  Church isn’t important, it’s corrupt, it’s filled with self-righteous hypocrites.  All I really need is Jesus.  I even hear the beginnings of this swelling pride when my son asks, “Why do we have to go to church?”

I countered, “God has asked us to come to his house once a week.  How many hours in a day?”  ”24,” was the quick response from my son.  ”And how many hours in a week?” Now this required a pencil and some paper.  ”24 x 7 = 168.”  ”So then, how many hours in a year?” Ok, this I had to do for my kids.  168 x 52 weeks in a year = 8,736.  ”How long does mass last?” Again, a quick answer, “About an hour.” “So in a year about how many hours of your time does God ask for?”  ”52.” ” Let’s finish….If there are 8,736 hours in a year and you spend 52 of them with God at his house, you get, well, 8,736 – 52 = 8,684.  You get 8,684 hours to play, to read, do sports or anything you want.  Do you think God asking for 52 hours is too much?” “No.” “Alright then, go get dressed for church.”

Before I heard this sermon, I liked this response to, “Why church?”  Now, I think the Rabbi has the more compelling argument.  God himself is a mystery of being one, yet in a community of three.  We are made to be in a community.  We as Catholics understand that in the body of Christ, we are given the great gift of the communion of saints.  We know that this communion extends to heaven.  When we come to mass, we are joining with a heavenly counterpart.  We are celebrating with the communion of saint and all the angels.  Several times in the mass we mention this connection.  At the Penitential Act, at the Sanctus, and at the Eucharistic Prayers.

The simple truth is that we normally don’t come to faith by ourselves, it happens within a community of people who have touched our lives and shared their faith.  This faith of ours is Love, it is a contagious joy.  A contagion needs to come into contact with a host if is to survive.  You need to touch other people.  Church is the way to keep ourselves filled with faith to then go and spread it to others.  Left in a self-imposed quarantine our faith, having no where to go, will die.

The next time one of my sons asks me, “Why do we have to go to church today?”, I will use the image of an ember returning to God’s bright fire to become red hot.  I think I will tell him, “It is time to go get our glow on.”  In fact, one of my favorite passages from the bible is in Daniel 12: 3 (New Jerusalem Bible) “Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightness, as bright as stars for all eternity.”  That is what I want to be, an eternal ember.  Not one that is cool and dark, but one that shines as brightly as the expanse of the heavens.

Resurrection or Resuscitation?

I love my Pastor.  Father Frank is seventy-one, in Mississippi with his Irish brogue accent, plays racket ball and gives a great homily.  Recently the Gospel was Jesus bringing Lazarus back to life.  It is the season of Lent and we turn to Jesus performing one of his greatest miracles.

I have always thought of it as a “minor” resurrection.  A foreshadow of Christ’s “major” resurrection, that is until I heard Father Frank’s homily.  He started by noting how numerous the accounts are of people who have died and come back to life.  In fact, if you haven’t read 90 Minutes in Heaven, it is on this exact topic and is a fabulous read.  People see different things, some a light, some loved ones, some see heaven itself.  They all however, feel the same thing: content, happy, fulfilled and complete.  They don’t want to go back.  Afterwards, they all also say they no longer fear death.  There in lies the key, they all will experience death again.

So, too would Lazarus.  While Lazarus was dead for four days when Christ opened the tomb and yelled, “Lazarus, come out!”(John 11: 43 NAB) and most others who have had these experiences have only moments, they all will come to a day when they will take their last breath in this life.  While we don’t have the account of Lazarus’ death in the bible, we know it happened.  Father Frank pointed out that having to meet death again makes Lazarus’ miracle completely different from what Jesus did Easter Sunday.  Lazarus was a “major” resuscitation, not a “minor” resurrection.

Jesus came in his eternal, glorified body:  Perfect, holy, and beyond death.  He came free from any tendrils that death might try to ensnare him with again.  We, through Christ, hope in our own day of resurrection.  The amazing thing is that during our time on this Earth, we can participate in our own resuscitations and even help resuscitate others.  As Lazarus comes out of the tomb, he is “tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth.  So Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.” (John 11: 44 NAB)

These are the moments I love.  The moments where Christ asks those around him to share in his miracle.  Come help resuscitate this man.  If it hadn’t been for Father Frank, I would have missed it.  If those around Lazarus hadn’t unbound him from his burial garments he would have suffocated within minutes.  Father asked a great series of questions.  If Christ asks us to help in freeing those who are bound,  then who in your life can you free?  Who can you give the amazing gift of resuscitation?  Who can you forgive?  Love?  Comfort?  Count a debt paid in full?  Father Frank went on to ask what has its tendrils wrapped around you trying to suffocate you?  From what do you need to be freed?

This Easter he asked the congregation to spend some time in prayer on these questions, ask for Christ’s breath of life and take steps to start to breathe life into others.

Play Dates

Passing on your faith to your kids is hard.  Ultimately you have no control over how they will respond.  They too have the assurance of free will.  While I can make them eat their vegetables, mind their manners and brush their teeth, I can not make them believe.

They start off very much like the townspeople of Sychar in Samaria.  After Jesus talks with the woman at the well, she leaves her water jar and goes into the town and tells the people, “Come see a man who told me everything I have done.  Could he possibly be the Messiah?” (John 4: 29 NAB)  First, I love her fearlessness.  John tells us that she goes out to draw water from Jacob’s well at noon.  The hottest point of the day when she is the least likely to come into contact with anyone.  She is an outcast among outcasts.  Yet, after meeting Jesus she leaves in haste, forgetting her water jar, and seeks out the very people she was desperately trying to avoid just moments ago.  Maybe out of sheer curiosity the next line in John 4 is, “They went out of town and came to him.” and further we are told, “Many of the Samaritans of that town began to believe in him because of the word of the woman who testified.”

Most of us avoid talks of faith, we don’t blog about it or discuss it with friends.  We avoid it along with politics and money.  In fact, most of us would rather share intimate stories about our love life, exposing our own soap operas before we would share our faith.  However, when you become a parent you become a reluctant teacher of faith.  What you teach is up to you, but through what you say and don’t say, do and don’t do, you preach to your kids.  For those who try to introduce their children to Christ, we start with the same message to our kids as the Samaritan woman, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have done.”  We are often filled with a sense of urgency to set our children’s feet on the path of faith.

It is the second part of this story that is the critical part, if our children are to fashion and put on their own armor of God.  Jesus is invited to stay with the people of Sychar for two days.  After spending time with Jesus themselves, they say to the woman, “We no longer believe because of your word; for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the savior of the world.” (John 4: 42 NAB)  As parents we need to set up play-dates with Christ.  A child may start believing on the word of their parents but it is not enough to sustain that faith.  I have found the best play dates are not necessarily in church.  They happen through the corporal works of mercy.

We had stopped at our local Piggly Wiggly.  We were coming down the aisle.  I had one son in the seat of the cart and the two older sons following behind like ducks.  There, in front of the deli counter, was a display of  crackers.  An older woman who was not very mobile misjudged her cart and knocked the entire display over.  Everyone turned to see the cause of the crash.  My oldest son looked at me and asked, “Can I help her?”  Then my middle son, “Me, too?”  My youngest, not to be left out of anything, went to climb out of my cart while saying, “I can help, too.”  Now, I was trying for a quick trip to get back and start dinner but, it was time for a play-date.  ”Yes, go ahead,” was my reply.  I saw the woman’s demeanor change.  She started embarrassed, but as my three sons approached and started to help without any words, she smiled.  The lady thanked them and when they came back to me my oldest commented, “Mom, see we’re learning.  We can help.”

All three had big grins.  No, there wasn’t a big theological discussion.  The quiet words spoken in their hearts in that act and through the eyes and smile of the nameless woman spoke louder and deeper than anything I might add.  I did however, think of that verse, “We have heard for ourselves….”  I just thought, ‘Yes, I think you are.  Thank you God for that play date.”

One in the Crowd

Being one in a crowd isn’t always a bad thing.  First, there is safety in numbers.  As a female you learn early from all the safety experts to avoid being alone.  Second, being in a crowd can mean you are sharing something with those around you. Perhaps it is a concert, your child’s school event, or a Mass on a holy day when we all stand shoulder to shoulder.  It can be comforting to know there is a large number of people in your “same boat” or on your side.  Especially if you are in a place of struggle, being in a group with individuals who share your struggle can help ease your burden.  It can be an example of how misery loves company.

In the gospel of  Mark, in the second chapter Jesus has drawn a crowd to a home in Capernaum.  This is probably the house of Simon and Andrew.  The people get word that Jesus is in town and it says, “Many gathered together so that there was no longer room for them, not even around the door.” (Mark 2: 2)  The rest of the account is familiar.  A group of people come as well, four of them carrying a paralyzed man.  When they can’t get up close to Jesus, they decide to climb up to the roof of the home, dig a hole and lower the paralyzed man down to Jesus.  Their faith brings the man forgiveness of his sins and then healing of his body.

In the past I had asked myself if I was the sort of friend who would climb a house for someone so they could receive a blessing.  Or I asked if I, myself, had friends who would carry my weight and exert themselves in an effort to help me.  Would  I persevere through obstacles like the crowd, or see them and give up?  This time I was slapped in the face with a new question.

Was I a person in the crowd?  Had I come early, staked out my spot with my eyes forward listening to a message of self giving love, only to fail to practice that sort of love to one in the crowd?  I wonder if those four carrying the man were saying, “Excuse me.”  Even still, would no one in the crowd turn to notice those around them?  Did no one stop and recognize someone in need, give up their spot and move out of the way?  Had I ever been so focused on what was in front of me that I was blinded to what I should be doing with all that surrounds me?

Yes, I have been a member in the crowd.  A person whose look screams, “Wait your own turn!”  I am certain I have failed to make the path a little easier for someone else out of a self-interest to keep my own path clear.  How many missed opportunities have I let go completely unnoticed?  Did the crowd’s inaction frustrate Jesus?  I often pray to be kept from causing harm to my children.  Not is a physical sense but, to make certain that my words and actions never cause them hurt.  I don’t believe I have ever prayed to be kept from being an obstacle to someone who is trying to approach Jesus.  In a sort of arrogance I have never really thought it was likely.  Now, I know it is a certainty.  Thank God for those who have helped others to go around me or over me.   In the future may God bring a mighty wind and blow me over to keep me from ever being an obstacle again.  Better yet, may I gain some upper body strength so that I might be prepared to offer a hand and help the one step closer to Christ.

Raise Your Ebenezer

I love the hymn Come Thy Font of Every Blessing.  I have listened to the Chris Rice version a lot this holiday season.  I can sing out the words, slightly off-key, with abandon but, there was a line that has always caused a ping in my heart.  In the second verse it says, “Here I raise my Ebenezer, Here by Thy great help I’ve come.” By context, I always figured an Ebenezer to be some sort of banner or standard.  Of course, every time I sing it, I see an image of Ebenezer Scrooge in a night shirt and cap.  So, I went in search of Ebenezer.  I landed in the book of Samuel.

I like Samuel a lot.  I love that his mother, Hannah, kept her word without trying to get out of it and brought Samuel to the temple to serve God.  I love that she prayed, “The LORD has fill my heart with joy; how happy I am because of what he has done!  I laugh at my enemies; how joyful I am because God has helped me!” (1 SAM 2: 1), as she said goodbye to her son.  I think in the short time Hannah had Samuel she taught thankfulness. I love that when Samuel heard God’s voice late at night, thinking at first it was his mentor’s voice, he runs to Eli and says, “Here I am.”  He doesn’t say from bed, “What do you want? I’m sleeping.”  He doesn’t grumble under his breath about a mentor who is waking him in the middle of the night.  He runs. Then, after Eli realizes that God is calling Samuel, he tells Samuel to wait and how to respond if God calls again.  What does Samuel do?  He listens and follows the advice of his mentor.  God does call again and Samuel answered with the words his mentor gave him, “Speak; your servant is listening.”

Then we come to Ebenezer.  The Philistines know the Israelites are gathered together with Samuel in a place named Mizpah.  A perfect time to ambush.  Samuel, perhaps heeding the lesson of his mother, prays for help.  God answers and “thundered against them (the Philistines).”  They became completely confused and fled in panic. (1 SAM 7: 9-10)  ”Then Samuel took a stone, set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and said, “The LORD has helped us all the way—and he named it “Stone of Help” (1 SAM 7:12)  What name means “Stone of Help” ?  That’s right, Ebenezer.

Ebenezer is a monument to the faithfulness of a God who helps.  A God who tells us if you have the faith of a mustard seed you can say to a mountain, “MOVE” and it will move.  A God who will thunder from heaven for you. Samuel knows that we tend to have a very short memory span.  Setting a monument named “Stone of Help”  for generations to see will lead them to ask, “What is the story behind the stone?”  It will bring the memory front and center.

It is said that Dickens got the inspiration for Ebenezer Scrooge from the grave marker of a man named Ebenezer Lennox Scroggie.  It read a “meal man”. Apparently, Ebenezer was a corn merchant, but due to fading, Dickens reads it as “mean man”.  Dickens reportedly wrote in his diary that it must have “shriveled” the soul of this man to carry “such a terrible thing to eternity.” While the corn merchant was the beginning, I wonder if there is more.

What a perfect contradiction in the name Ebenezer Scrooge.  The first part calling to mind a God who helps you and the last name speaking of a miserly misanthrope who helps no one.  I even see a shadow of Samuel in the Dickens’ story.  In A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer gets a warning from the ghost of Bob Marley.  In the story of God’s people, Samuel brings a message from the grave of foreboding to King Saul.  Now Saul does not have a conversion of heart like Ebenezer but, the people of Israel do.  I see, in the character of Ebenezer a bit of truer wisdom.  Ebebezer says yes to the spirits and goes along with them on a journey.  He repents at the end and asks for help.

“Spirit!” he cried, tight clutching at his robe.  ”Hear me!  I am not the man I was.  I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse.  Why show me this, if I am past all hope!” …..”Good Spirit,” he pursued, as down upon the ground he fell before it:  ”Your nature intercedes for me, and pities me.  Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me by an altered life?”  The kind hand trembled.  ”I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.  The Spirits of all three shall strive within me.  I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.  Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!”….Holding up his hands in a last prayer to have his fate reversed, he saw an alteration in the Phantom’s hood and dress.  It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindles down into a bedpost.”  ~A Christmas Carol

So Ebenezer Scrooge gets his own “Stone of Help” in the form of a stone grave marker.  He is given help even before he asks for it but, is smart enough to say yes when help comes.  I will never sing the words of that hymn the same way again and now I can do what  1 Corinthians instructs , “I will sing with my spirit, but I will sing also with my mind.”  Hopefully, I also learned from Samuel and Dickens to set up my own Ebenezer along the way that I may remember, “My help comes from the Lord.” (Psalm 121).  May we each recognize our moments of help, erect our own Ebenezer and help mark the path for others.

Why Should I Help?

I asked my eldest son to help his middle brother with something.  I don’t remember what anymore.  I do remember his response.  ”Why should I help Ryan?  When was the last time Heeeee helped me?”  Can you hear the eight year old emphasis in his voice on the word he?  Do you hear shadows of your own thoughts behind his question?  At first I wanted to go down the road marked, “YOU DON’T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY.”  or sometimes marked, “YOU BETTER GET THE UGLY OUT OF YOUR VOICE AND TRY AGAIN.”  If you have children, you know it is a road they try to travel down all the time and unfortunately too many adults end up living there permanently.

What I heard was a modern take on one of the very first questions recorded in the bible.  I think perhaps God recorded it because for as long as we are in this world it will bubble up to the surface in each of us.  ”Am I my brother’s keeper?” Gen 4: 9 (NAB) The first thing that strikes me about that question is the reversal of God’s name in it.  Am I.  A clue I think to the state of the heart when we ask it.  Next is that word keeper.  In Hebrew it has a lengthy definition:  to guard, observe, give heed, preserve, protect, celebrate and my favorite, to treasure up in memory.

Notice what is missing from that definition:  To rule over, to dictate, to judge over.  I think the rub of this question is in misunderstanding what it is to be a keeper and to be open to being kept.  We rush to images of leashes and cages, and rules and regulations.  We either don’t want the burden of enforcement or the consequence of them being enforced upon us.  This is a false worry.  Keeping is not enforcing or allowing yourself to be kept.  It is not imprisonment.

So what is the role of keeper?  How does the verb  ”to keep” act and move in the world.  Jesus gives us the answer in the New Testament.  While the question is only recorded once in the bible.  The answer is given to us at least 11 different times.  Jesus is asked which of the commandments is greatest.  His response in Matt 22: 37-38 (NAB) “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the greatest commandment.  The second is like it:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Notice Jesus moved the marker on the field.  Cain was at brother and keeper.  Jesus transforms it to neighbor and love.  He tells us a neighbor is anybody we come into contact with, even those we may consider enemies.  The love he refers to in the word agapao goes well beyond guarding and preserving.  This is a self-sacrificing, an aiding, a self-giving, an unconditional love and all done with a glad spirit.  This marker is so much more it makes many of us ask, “Can we go back to being keepers?”

The marvelous thing about this kind of love is that it does more for the giver than for the receiver.  It is a love that is contagious.  Once you have felt it, you want others to feel it.  Once you are a part in helping others feel it, well, you are hooked.  I believe this is one way we recognize it.  We have all felt it.  We have worked really hard, sacrificed much, given all to see the gift of love received and the joy in the eyes of the receiver.   We have given life to agapao.

So, to my son I reverted to the Veggie Tale movie on St. Nicholas that we watched several times this pass Christmas.  ”Kevin, do you remember St. Nicholas asking why the nun was feeding the poor?”  ”Yes,” came a soft reply without any ugly tone.  ”What was the answer ?”  ”I can love because God loves me..” He started to sing.  It is a song we sang a lot last Christmas.  ”You help because you can, because you know that each time you choose to help you are taking the opportunity God has given you, no one else, to be his helper.  It is his invitation to you to be his helper.  Now go help your brother.”